Another sleepless night..

So i'm currently sitting at Jessica's parents house out in the middle of no where with Jessica. We are drinkin alcoholic beverages and taking pictures, our favorite past time. In fact, I've been drinking every night for the past two weeks. For some reason I have not been able to sleep. I've had to even take night cold medicine just to sleep.

Anyways, earlier today I had my first day of work. I won't tell you where but its a clothing store. Just normal boring same old things and i'm only working part time. Though to tell you the truth i'm only working there so I can afford to have Matt come down to see me. I miss him terribly. Maybe thats why I can't sleep? Who knows.

The day has seemed to drag on forever and i'm a little tipsy at the moment. Jessica is on the laptop next to me, uploading video's and pictures we just took. I got to talk to my love on the phone for a little bit...actually i'm supposed to call him back right now....HOLD THE PRESSES.

Okay so I just called him. He was extremely sleepy so we didn't talk for that long though there is a question i've been dyeing to ask him. That question was "What do you want? Between us I mean. In the long run, in the now, what do you want?" Thats what I want to ask and I want a true response. Because sometimes I feel like i'm out of the loop with him because he is so far away. About 2,000 miles away to be more exact. It makes me want to cry because I don't know what he wants...I know what I want. I want him, I want to see him every few months and then one day move up there and be closer to him. I mean i'm going to college for him to start my career, so that I can be there for him. I know he needs and I hope he wants me....i'm just so exhausted not knowing what he wants..

Anyways, thats all I want to type for now.