As I sit here at my desk i'm currently having 'girl time' by myself. Doing my make-up, hair, making sure I look flawless. Why you ask? Though i'm not going to or trying to impress anyone, it makes me feel better, raises my confidence, and ego-BOOST if you will.
I forgot to mention, My middle oldest sister, Amanda, who got married at 22 and is now 25 years old, is finally pregnant! The child is due May 27th. I am over whelmed with excitement for this, I will finally by an Aunt and I can't wait to spoil that kid and be known as the 'cool' aunt. The Aunt the child can call if they end up in jail or has a problem and instead of contacting the parents first in fear of being torn a part mentally, I could be there and help them. Form a bond of trust and make this so-called 'family' an actual family, slowly but surely. When I say 'so-called family' I am speaking of my entire family. We have never been close since the divorce between my parents happened when I was 10, even before that it was still a little shaky and no one was really understanding or there for you with a level head when you needed it.
That is the first slap, that I will be an Auntie.
The next slap in the face is that I haven't quit smoking cigarettes yet. I'm trying so hard but it is mind boggling how much i'm actually addicted to these cancer sticks, though I have been smoking for 5 years straight.
The final slap is that NOW, my temp job at AIS has ended...so I am jobless again. Hopefully on Monday they can find me another job quickly. There is so much I need to buy before I can go see my Love, Matt, for New Years. I mean, I only own 3 long sleeve shirts, a few jackets but no coats, not shoes for snow and Michigan has tons of snow. So even if I can afford my 150 dollar ticket, I won't be able to go unless I can buy the right clothes. It has stressed me out beyond belief. Like my heart needs any more stress, but fine, i'll be okay, i'll figure something out to this life that keeps smacking me in the face. I always do. So Bring it on life, i'm ready to jump back in to your game of tragedy and heart ache..but what comes from tragedy, can be always be something amazing and astonishing.